The Lady ♥

Friday, May 07, 2010 Y

The thinker in me surfaced yet again in the lonely nights and days.. Pondering over millions of things, people. Simple things such as a hug, a night sky, fluffy white clouds or even the a recipe can make my thoughts link from A to Z and all over the place. Visited blogs from my list, and re read some of my previous posts, and once again the word "relationship" pops into view and floats into mind. The thinker in me took over......... feeling a sense of melancholy, but no depression.

Relationships end in many ways and due to many reasons. I never knew these reasons, I've only heard or seen as an observer. There can be countless reasons ranging from sadness to anger to hatred. Now I finally felt it personally. There's no happy ending to an end of a relationship, of any kind: Friendship or courtship.

One of the reasons for an ending is: Pain. The pain to know that what you want you will never get, the pain of knowing that letting go is the best choice for the other party, the pain of seeing what could have been and might have been knowing that it will never be, the pain of endless, countless, sleepless nights, the pain of enduring lonely times, the pain of seeing affection and love between strangers and feeling the same way but alone. The pain of knowing you haven't tried hard enough, the pain of saying "I can't take it anymore", the pain of imaging the possible outcomes when they can only be fantasy but not reality, the pain of seeing that person laugh and cry yet you can't be there to hug and kiss to share or make them all away. The pain of knowing that it could forever be like this. Pain... it ended relationships silently. It kills away the bond, slicing it bit by bit regardless of the laughter and love.

Yet among the pain, there is laughter and love. Love of the other person. You feel the pain because you love that someone, so dear and so true. You feel the pain because you had laughed with that someone through good and bad, happy and sad.

I've heard saying that 2 people who have truly loved each other can never be just friends when they crossed beyond the "friendship" and turned it into "courtship". Some may say it's possible but it's very difficult, some may agree that it's impossible. I happen to be the one that falls in the 2nd category. To me, you have loved that someone so deeply, and to end the relationship to once again become friends, there would be a sense of melancholy between, even if it is possible. Things can't go back the way they used to, the memories of being in love will always be around.

Knowing this, I find myself smiling... To know that you have loved someone deeply and have been loved back. Letting go was a choice made because of the pain, and no contact was because there had been love. Though such relationship has ended, but it ended with no regrets of loving whole-heartedly. The only regret was to choose to end it.

But sometimes, regardless of how powerful love is, some choices are beyond our control. Sad but true. But why dwell in the "what might have been/could have been" and feel sad, when we could look back at the fond memories and feel contented that they will forever be part of our life, our memory, and last as long as we shall live.

Y The Lady @
8:35 PM