The Lady ♥

Friday, March 19, 2010 Y

I read my cousin blog, who talked about my Sis' blog, then saw FB status and went to my own blog.. Alot of things happened consecutively and suddenly I wanted to write about something.

Solitude - What my sis blogged about. Being in solitude is good at certain parts of the day, or at certain moments when you just want to be away from all the hussle and bustle and just take a step back into your own world. A world where it's all quiet. An escape. I like to be alone, it's good to just enjoy a cup of coffee with a good book and some light music alone..

Then my mind turned to my cousin's blog about relationship.. And solitude wasn't that a good thing. Sure, in any relationship there has to be solitude, an alone time even away from your love... But it can get lonely sometimes, when you're down, when you're alone, when you're happy etc. It's not good to be in solitary too much when in a relationship until the point you don't even feel like you're in a relationship. Now that is terrible..

Then came the words "trust" and "mistrust" which was mentioned. My cousin was right.. All kinds of relationship started with mutual trust, and end with mutual mistrust. It's one of the most fundamental aspect to forming relationship - Trust. However, it's just as fragile as glass, and invisible to touch.

There is a thin line between trust and mistrust, and how do we really trust someone? That is a question that only you can answer. Follow your heart. People may think that you shouldn't trust a particular someone that much, but as long as you know it and do, it doesnt matter how people think, because they don't know the person like you do. When you reach out to trust that person, that person is doing the same thing to you. It's unfair to doubt that person, especially if that person means no harm at all. If that's the case, why trust in the first place?

I've seen cases where trust turned into backstabbing... Sad but not necessarily impossible. There are people like this, and this happens because people take advantage of the trust and turned it against the others. Once that happens, mistrust surfaced and "bang" goes that relationship.

I've got no idea how to solve these... It's all matters of our hearts. Trust a person or don't trust a person is only a decision away. What matters is truly how you feel about reaching out to build that trust with the other person.

Another part of my cousin's blog was on feelings in a relationship. And it made me think... Yep, it is important in relationships.. In this case I'm talking about boy-girl/man-woman relationship. Feeling IS important, and sometimes because the feeling is there, no matter what far you are away, how lonely you feel, how angry you feel, how neglected you feel or what happened or did not happened etc... (I lost my thought)... You still know that the person you care about is still around. It can spice up conversations, spice up your life, spice up the love, make you feel warm and fuzzy and make you pissed (sometimes).. Hahahahaha, it's complicated.

I've seen a show where this character says, "Sometimes it's nice to worry for the person you love, or even be angry at that person. Because then you're sure that you still have feelings for this person, and that you care enough to worry for him/her or be angry for what he/she did or say or didn't do or didn't say." (Okay, I added a little bit here and there myself.. but that's the general idea...)

And feelings never die.. When you love somebody, you have feelings for that person. You worry for him/her, you care about his/her day and life, you want to be there with him/her. The feeling between a couple dies when neither no longer loves the other... When you don't feel exceptionally happy to see the person, or when you're together you don't see it as a time of blessing... That there's nothing special anymore.

I count my blessings... that the feeling is still so strong after so long... And to know that it's strong on both ends, makes everything bad better :))

Y The Lady @
10:54 PM

Tuesday, March 16, 2010 Y

Saturday class was fun, almost ran out of time, but didnt. Really went for the muffin in class, they were all looking forward to it, me included because that was my supposed-lunch. :p Another funny thing was the activity done at the end of the lesson... 4 out of 5 drawings were the same! Hahahaa.. it was the expression of "boredom", and apparently 4 of us felt that it was like: -_- HAHHA!

Went to get my sunglassafter seeing it 2x... Hun was like "Lol, just get it." I did, it was great... Can't wait for Saturday to get them. =D And also probably gonna bake, thanks to Ting who made me itchy to bake. A discussion on Facebook led from home-cook meals to planning menus to baking loads of desserts, and a suggestion of green tea flavored. Really tempted to bake, really do... If I can complete till 80% of my portfolio by Friday, I'll definately bake on Saturday and do the remaining on Sunday and the following week to finalize. Man I'm straped for cash and I gotta bake 2x? One for Ting and one for my students when I see them in Term 2's start of lesson (as promised).

Portfolio... Date's been set. Mock interview was scary... My heart was pounding like a bird struggling to get free. Hm, the pounding still can't be compared to Christmas Eve when I called Hun. Hahaha, well, good experience though, to be critiqued by peers and teachers.. Self-awareness is important. :)

And a thought just crossed my mind.. We can never know people... I find it easy and reliable to trust my friends and Hun, but not distant relatives... Weird, it's relatives that gives me problem in trusting and liking them. They just treat you like a stepping stone to whatever they want. "You can't choose relatives, you can only avoid them"... Just like Hun said. I've distant myself, and glad I did. I hate these kind of people who treat others like crap and just toy with others' trust.

Y The Lady @
9:43 PM

Wednesday, March 10, 2010 Y

Last day of class this coming Saturday... No idea what I'm gonna do, hahaha. But probably would listen to my students and bring in a cupcake or muffin... Since it's quite apt for the lesson-to-come. Hm, maybe 1 from Starbucks should be enough for 6 people... Now where can I find a candle?

Hahhaha, Thitipat's idea of celebrating my 22nd birthday WAAAAYYYY before it actually happened. Cos I won't be seeing them anymore. :'( Kinda sad, but they have other committments to attend that ate into the CL lesson times.

Gonna eat it behind closed doors and silently.... Kinda against the policy to eat in class. Sweets and chocolates I don't mind, but apparently it's not advisable for the school. I have to adhere to it, but at least they know it when I told them, "Only sweets and chocolates allowed." Hm, muffins this time, O what the heck. We'll just clean up later :p

For some reasons I am looking forward to Saturday's last lesson. Maybe it's the plan, maybe cos it's LAST, or maybe I am just looking forward to it.

Y The Lady @
11:07 PM

Sunday, March 07, 2010 Y

Read a love quote on Xiaxue's blog. I do love that quote, it speaks to me. So simple, so true. Then comes daydreaming again. Been doing that for a long time now, ever since I was a kid. Just that the content of daydreaming is different.

What quote is that? It's one by Lord Alfred Tennyson (sadly I have no idea who he was) and it goes like this:

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.

Beautiful~~~

Went online to search for love quotes.. I wanted to type something that is different yet still so simple. Seriously I need to find something to do in my freetime besides WoW and Berlitz and FB and Jap Anime. Anyway, these love quotes were all sweet, some more than others. Some I can relate, others I can imagine. Some are written for specific occasion or people, a few taken from song lyrics, but most are pretty generic.

After browsing for about 20mins or so, I kinda came up with one of my own... It's pretty specific I guess, or it could be generic.

There's one reason why I love you; I love you because I can't find a reason not to.

Y The Lady @
10:39 PM

Saturday, March 06, 2010 Y

Sitting at the back of my Uncle's car while he drove us home. Aunt opened the skylight view and the top cover slide open(not convertible), revealing the pale blue sky, fluffy white clouds and the trees above our heads. It was beautiful to just lean back and watch the sky, the clouds and the trees as the car drove on.

Usually when we sit on the bus or train or taxi or car, usually we look at our surroundings, buildings, trees in front of us, and on either side of us. Yea, sometimes we look towards the horizon and see the clouds and sky. Yeah.. But how many times can we really get the chance to view things from downside-up? It's a different perspective.

I could really see each and ever leaf, how they were shaped, how they hung from the branches. Oh and the branches! Such beautiful way of extending out in various directions. We never notice the branches, or at least I never noticed the branches. When we walk or whatever, we see leaves and trunk, and the branches are covered by the leaves. But when you look from downside-up, you really can see each and every branch individually with every leaf in sight, how they hung from the branches, how they sway to the breeze, how they cluster themselves together. Simply wow.

It was really a nice experience to really see things from this perspective, makes me wonder that sometimes we take the little things in life for granted. When usualy these little things in life makes up what life is all about. =)

Y The Lady @
10:52 PM

Starving... That's not a good sign. I've read about it somewhere, when one is hungry, it usually means that person needs sleep. Hah. It's not hunger that the body needs to be satisfied with, it's rest.

Amazing isn't it? Our bodies giving us different cues and clues on what it wants and what we need.

It's just our job to decipher those clues and telltale signs.. Usually we get it right, sometimes we get it wrong. Trial and error, till we know. Of course, reading helps too :p

Y The Lady @
12:23 AM