Wednesday, August 06, 2008 Y
Thinking about 8th Aug reminded me of my kids.. *heartache* This kind of heartache isn't those that prolongs over a period of time. It's short, painful but sweet at the same time. Yet the more painful it is the more I want it exist.Could still remember the kid's reaction on my last day(Mon-28th July) when I talked to them and gave them the goodie bags I put together myself...They hugged me, 1 by 1 and I held them close, some a little tighter with kisses in their hair. A few children held on tighter and twice even, especially K.L, X, C and Y.S.When I called the names of the children and it wasn't Y.S's turn yet, he looked at me and asked in his very innocent voice, "Miss Janice, what about me?"I couldn't bear to see him that way so the next name I called was his. And his face just lit up like an angel.When I told them that day was my last day...Sam said, "Miss Janice, tomorrow you will come again right?" It was as if the reality hadn't sunk into him.
Xavier said, "Then Miss Janice tomorrow will be your first day again!"
And when it was at 1pm where the half day kids went off, K.L said to me, "Bye bye Miss Janice."And I said, "I'm not going yet my dear."And K.L replied, "But I scared later I never see you and cannot say bye bye to you anymore."That reminded me once again it was my last day.The children all came around me and gave me hugs like never before. Hugs that made me lost balance and fell onto the floor, but that didn't stop them from hugging me. Hugs that made them look up and smile their lovely smiles or buried their faces in my shirt as their little arms tightened around my waist. Hugs that had all of them came rushing to me all at once without cares and worries. I did what I could do.I held them closer, each and every one of them.I didn't stop hugging them even when I fell onto the floor. They didn't stop even when they fell to the floor with me.I didn't stop hugging them even when one of them accidentally made my spectacles and I had to remove it.I didn't stop hugging them because they went over the line or got loud.I simply couldn't.On that day, since the morning when they knew I wouldn't becoming back, they came to me after lunch, wanting to sit on my laps. I let them. I held them close to me and broke down the barriers completely as a teacher, and just being a kid with them around. No boundaries.When they asked me to read them a book, I gladly obliged, no matter how many books they took from the shelves. Usually when I read them stories at the Language Corner I would have them seated in front and around me. But that day, I held onto them, sitting on my laps, beside me with my arms around them and still able to flip the pages.It was a miracle that I didn't cry that day... Even until now, my conversations with the children are still fresh in my mind.***
The next day(Tue-29th July) I went back to clear my things and the children were all glad to see me. Hugs were all over the class again, and they started calling my name when I stepped into the class. For a short moment I had the class to myself, cos' Rachel had to go to the back of the centre to get some books for the children. And the conversation started with "is it my last day or first day back?" to our class pet to my math corner(which i was in the midst of tearing down that day so I could put back their original home corner).Though the time was short, it was blissful. When it was time to go, I told the children I was going. Their faces were sad, some didn't want me to go. Some knew I would be going and kept asking what time I would be leaving. When they knew I wasn't going that early they were glad, and when they knew I was leaving at that time, they came around me and sent me off with smiles on their faces which I'll never forget.***
Thursday came, as told to Rachel, I would be coming back to collect the library books I've borrowed for them(from NLB and Sch Lib). When I stepped into the class, Rachel was the first to see me. She greeted me with a smile and spoke to the children, "Look who's come to visit you?"When the children saw me, they came over and hugged me once again. This time it was like before... I almost fell but I didn't and I hugged them back. I could have went home after collecting my books, but I stayed and played with them during the outdoor time in the evening. It was fun and hot(was wearing a navy blue tee shirt) running around with the children. Went to a pavilion near the centre, and there were snails, big snails... As the children asked questions (some of which I couldn't answer) it brought me back to my attachment days when I got stuck at some of their questions(most of them came from T'vis). I was smiling as I answered their questions and helped Rachel and Teacher Deng looked after the children(when they were out of their sights), having small moments of incidental learnings with the children and just letting the children lead me to where they wanted to go. It was hot and humid and I was sweating, but I couldn't care less.Thinking abt the upcoming 8th Aug made me took a trip back down the memory lane.. the moments that I've shared with the teachers and the children. Simply can't wait for Friday to come. How I wish I have the power to make time go faster.
Y The Lady @
10:11 PM
