The Lady ♥

Sunday, April 13, 2008 Y

Man! I'm beyond distress! I'm driven round and round in circles by a friend of mine.. Distress, frustration, helplessness... These are what I have when I think of this friend of mine.

Distress... because of everything.. without fail, the same thing will happen again and again, even after this friend promises not to do it again. Repeating mistakes, everybody does that unknowingly. But this friend of mine repeats the mistake in the same way as before.. Normally with the same case scenario.

Recently hooked onto "Criminal Minds". There's something called "profiling", which is to profile somebody based on what you know and what you don't know. I find it to be rather appropriate when i use the word "profiling" in this blog and on this friend.

This friend is very good being a friend, quite a gd company to be with, we can share jokes, short stories. The only problem is that she has a weird habit, and this habit is taking a toll out of me.

Every time we have a plan for going out together, she'll be like "mm, i'm nt sure about my schedule. I'll let you know later". Nothing wrong with this. Then after much persuasion on our side, and her consideration, she'll be like "ok, I can go". And when further asked(to be sure) if she's going, she gets defensive and it went like "yea, i told so-and-so i going already".

Guess what? Just a few hrs or maybe even 1 hour! before the actual meeting, she'll smsed and said, "srry got something important. today not going".

I mean.. WHAT!?!?!?!? If you have something important, you should have said it earlier, not juz give it a dismissive hand and said "I'll think about it" or "i'm going" after considering. Shouldn't you ahve known your schedule like a few days before?? If you have something THAT important, just tell it straight in our face, not make us look like the bad guys when we're talking about our feelings for you standing up on us! SHEESH!

In my own personal view, nobody influenced... I find that she's profiling us by what she knows and what she sees, but actually, she doesn't know much and doesn't see anything. She's so insensitive to others' emotions, and predicaments or whatsoever.. expecting others to have empathy towards her. I realized this after reading her blog entry.

She's profiling me as somebody who doesn't empathize with her predicament, who takes kinship lightly, who puts friendship on a pedastal, who doesn't care about anything but myself. Aw man! ARGH!!!! Does she empathize with MY PREDICAMENTS?? MY EMOTIONS?? Who does she thinks I am?? After almost 7years of friendship, she thinks I'm such a person, I sometimes wonder if she truly know me as a person, a friend, a confidant, and that if I truly know this person at all... =[ & F.Y.I(tis friend) --> I dun put friendship on pedastal, becasue my life don't revolve around it. To me, everything in my life is important, and by now you should know i am all for family-bonding. So don't give me BS that you think for one second that kinship doesnt matter to me.

I have plenty of empathy to spare, seriously. In her entry, she made it sound as if I was the unsympathetic one, the one that nv puts myself in others shoes to think about their thing, the one that nv really comprehends what she is going through.

I think it's BS! She said (i translate into english), "you have to be in that situation before you can actually relate to the feelings". I think, she has to be in that situation where she gets stood up almost every time at the last min, with us telling her like a few mins before the actual gathering time that we cannot go ; before she can really understand our feelings and emotions towards her actions. I think only that time, can she really live up to these words of hers.

I'm so frustrated from all these.. you know, her disappearing acts made us look lke the bad guy and she's the innocent ones. And I realized soemthing really important... if you wanna go back on your words regarding a date or gathering, PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKES! TELL THE TRUTH, AND NOT JUST MAKE UP SOME STORIES THAT GOES "I'VE GOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT". This was also realized after reading her blog.

She's profiling us from the little understanding she got from us. I'm not profiling her based on fiction and my own fantasy, but on facts that has been accumulated through the times.

YOu know who you are.. I don't wan the whole world to know your name. But please, for goodness sake, CHANGE THIS BL**DY ATTITUDE, BECAUSE I'M SICK OF YOUR EXCUSES AND GAMES. It may be a game to you, the gatherings and all, but it's important to some of us.

I don't know anymore.. Right now, I don't care more than I should about this friend, whatever you're going through, it's non of my busines and i wun care about anything anymore. I'm so tired! But if she wants a confidant, a listener, i wil truly lend my ears, my time, my shoulders and neck for her. The least I can get from her is for her to know that I am a really good listener, and that i will be there if she ever needs me. *Sigh*

Y The Lady @
12:47 AM