Thursday, March 27, 2008 Y
Call Me Irresponsible..... Call Me Unreliable... Call Me Anything U Want... I Don't Care.I can't take it anymore...! =.=It was fun @ 1st gg to work... making my worries all disappear. But the longer I stayed there, the longer I couldn't take it..It's a chance of a life time, this I know, and it's great that I have "lobang" for my holidays.In the beginning, I can really see myself living that life...But as the time goes by, 2wks later, I couldn't see myself in that kind of life anymore. It's like the images suddenly disappeared and being replaced by darkness.Of course, going there let me learn something, somehow... If I put it in a nice way, it's going to a place to learn during the hols. But if I put it in the not-nice way, it's changing another environment for me to rot.Haven't been to work for 3 days straight this week(Tue, Wed & Thurs), and 3 days last wk(2days r their hol, 1 is gd fri)... Every morning, I still gotta wake up early, pretend that I'm going to work, but actually I'm not. I just dun feel like going...If you call that work...When there's no pay, and gotta spend at least half a day there just to see and listen. =.= Haiz... I dunno what to think anymore. Good thing tml is the last day, I have to go, bcos of the present I had on hand. I really can't see myself living that kind of life, even though the environment is amazing, and I have my own desk.Yea, missed my desk, but it's not enough to make me go there n waste half my day away w/o doing anything else and no pay but see, listen, see, hear, see, listen, see and hear...
Honestly speaking, I don't look forward to tml's time at the workplace... =.= Because I feel totally out of place.. the lifestyle is diff there,compared to what I've faced.. I donno what to do there, and there's nth for me to do.
The only thing making me look forward to going there is the date with my sis in the evening at Starbucks. But then, I'm pining for the ending of the day, not the beginning, nor the process...
Tell me, what's the use of going to work if I have that kind of attitude...?????? Dunno how did I get this attitude, but to me, I felt that 2weeks of changing place to rot is enough. When I'm at home, at least I get to do something.. Or when I'm in sales, yes, very exhausting, but at least there's pay
It all comes down to pay. And in my situation, if I'm interested abt something, I will do it, with or without pay ; if I'm not interested in something, pay is the only thing that I look forward to. This job s something that I am interested in, very interested in when my dad told me abt it. But as time goes by, with nth to do and nth to help, the interest will be diminished. Like in this case.
I may be superficial, yea, whatever. Yes, I admit I am. A job without pay is one thing, a job that requires no contribution and no pay is not a job at all. At least in my book. This is my job, and to me, 2 weeks plus of it is more than enough. =[ If I get to do something, help, contribute, do and not just rot away like a zombie, even without pay, I'll be happy.
Always thought that I was somebody who likes to take breaks, and work as well. But now, then I realize, if you get me to break for the whole day or for a few days straight w/o working, I might as well die. I guess the urge to work or to do something runs in the family.
Labels: Helpless
Y The Lady @
6:46 PM
